In yesterday’s post (Part 3a) we introduced the dangers of pornography and promiscuity and how important it was to avoid yielding to these Temptations because they can escalate into more devastating sins. We also discussed that sexual integrity is possible IF we will follow what the Word of God has to say. If you haven’t read Part 3a I highly recommend that you do, because it sets the foundation for today’s Thought for the Day which we will see what happens when we don’t shut down the carnal desires inside of us and ignore the warnings signs. Our case study is someone who probably thought he was too powerful to ever fall, but fall did he ever. I am speaking of King David, a man after God’s own heart, (see 1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22).
David was a complex man. For those not familiar with him, he was youngest of (8) children who tended his father’s sheep and played the harp. But before you think that he was soft or weak, we find out in 1 Samuel 17:34-36 that David would chase after lions and bears with nothing but a club after a lamb was stolen from the flock and killed them. David is also known for slaying Goliath the Giant, the Philistine’s prized warrior who had come to wage war on the nation of Israel. Eventually David became king over Israel and was referred to by God as a “Man of War” in 1 Chronicles 28:2-3! By all accounts David was a mighty strong man, but though the King was able to overcome every nation that came against him, his undoing was his flesh! Lust was his Achilles’ heel, his kryptonite, the one vulnerable chink in his armor that brought David to his knees, literally! But I am getting ahead of myself; let’s continue to understand the man a little more. In 1 Samuel 18:17-30, 25:39-42 and, 2 Samuel 3:2–5, 11:26-27, 5:13 the names of David’s (8) wives are listed. And the in 2 Samuel 5:13 (NLT) it says:
“After moving from Hebron to Jerusalem, David married more concubines and wives, and they had more sons and daughters.”
David clearly had an overactive libido and his failure to master the temptation of lust caused him to go down a path I bet he never dreamed possible. Whether you know the Bible well or not, you have probably heard something about David and Bathsheba, a story that reads much like a Shakespearean tragedy.
You can read the whole story about David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11:1-12:25 but here’s the Cliff Notes version of the sordid affair. The chronicle of David and Bathsheba is a cautionary tale about adultery and how we must watch out for guideposts along the path of life alerting us to danger. There were many warning signs and opportunities for David to “course correct” but he ignored each and every one of them. I pray that this powerful King’s “fall from grace” will resonate with us that we can avoid the pitfall of lust. Now we will be primarily speaking of a man’s failure to overcome lust but this is something that women need to be wary of the Satan’s traps like connecting with an old boyfriend on Facebook, sharing intimate details with a male friend / co-worker, or losing oneself in romance novels that could be considered a form of pornography in itself. In response to a question about whether it is okay to watch the new 50 Shades of Grey movie, Mark Driscoll made this point about how to make good decisions…
“Whether it’s what movies to watch, what songs to listen to, or any other number of choices, determining the godliness of a decision depends on one simple question…Does this glorify Christ, or does it gratify my sinful desires? Source: “Is It Ok To Watch 50 Shades Darker?” video
Does this ___________ (fill in the blank) glorify Christ, or does it gratify my sinful desires? That is a decision even man and woman needs to make for themselves.
Okay tangent is over; now back to David and his poor decisions. It all started quite innocently. David took a day off, or rather a season off. Let me explain…unlike today, it was customary at that time for the King to go to battle with his troops. David however stayed behind and one day after waking up from a nap he saw a beautiful woman bathing from the roof of his palace. Red flag #1. No problem, he saw something he shouldn’t so all he needs to do is just look away right? Unfortunately he didn’t. Instead, David inquired about who she was and the flame of flirtation was fanned. But there’s no problem with flirting right? It’s okay if he looks as long as he doesn’t touch right? Maybe you are thinking that right now but that’s not what the Word of God instructs. In Job 31:1 (NLT) it says:
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.”
This would be a passage of scripture David would have known about and yet he dismissed it clearly. Jesus elevated the requirement when He said in Matthew 5:27-28 (NLT):
“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
I like how The Message translates verse 28
“But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.”
Looking is not any better than touching and we need to realize that it will corrupt our heart. So back to the story…David is told that Bathsheba is married and one would think that being “a man after God’s own heart” he will let it go right? Nope. Warning sign #2 ignored. David sent messengers to bring Bathsheba to the palace and in 1 Samuel 11:4 it records that he slept with her. We are not given any details about if it was coerced or consensual, but the sin of adultery was committed nonetheless. Remember the verse we read in the last post from James 1:15? When sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death, and such is the case with David because Bathsheba conceived after their affair! I am reminded of Proverbs 6:26b-29 (NLT) which warns that:
“…sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life. Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished.”
Here’s guidepost #3 that the King would have been wise enough that he could have changed the downward spiral but instead of coming clean about the affair, David sends for her husband Uriah the Hittite to return back from the battle lines in order to try to cover up the illegitimate pregnancy. But it turns out that Uriah was far more honorable than the King he served. David tried to get him to sleep with Bathsheba twice, but her husband would not. 2 Samuel 11:11 says:
“Uriah replied, ‘The Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents, and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.’”
So here we land at the proverbial fork in the road with Signpost #4 in which David is out of options, it’s time to confess right? Once again, the King ignores the peril and in 1 Samuel 11:14-15 we see how David arranged for Uriah’s Death:
“So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver. The letter instructed Joab, ‘Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.’”
Wow! This passage has always been hard for me to understand because not only did David arrange for Uriah’s death, but he sent him to deliver his own death sentence all because of David’s adulterous lust and inability to take responsibility for his actions. What’s even more shocking to me was the fact that Joab actually participated in the murder! You know that the Bible is true by the fact that the dirty laundry is aired out for all to see. God does not allow skeletons to be kept locked away in the closet. Jesus said in Luke 8:17 (NLT),
“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.”
Another warning from scripture is from Proverbs 6:32-34 (NLT) which says:
“But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. He will be wounded and disgraced. His shame will never be erased. For the woman’s jealous husband will be furious, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.”
Now in the case of Uriah, he never knew the betrayal of his King, but the truth remains, what is done in the dark will be exposed eventually and when it does, wrath will result from the spouse who was cheated on. I have a friend who is walking through the healing process from committing adultery on his wife and I remember so clearly when he told me that the woman’s husband contacted him at work and the viciousness that was unleashed on him.
In the post called ★ Act Like Men – “Before the Fall” ★, I shared this powerful illustration that James MacDonald called the “5 Steps that get a man where he never planned to go” that explains the plunge that lust took David.
“Feelings tend to become actions…What the mind desires, the will exercises and goes after.” And… “When we dwell on desire, yielding is just a matter of time.”
Lust led him to progressively escalate his sin to cover the previous one. Temptation works much like boiling a frog in water; the heat slowly builds until it is too late and then it is boiled alive. The eventual consummation of sin is just the final nail in the coffin. Conceding to temptation is a slow fade of the man or woman who fails to recognize the guideposts. Here’s the sad fact about giving into temptation…
“You don’t realize all that you are giving up in the moment of temptation.” Unknown
But Romans 13:14 (ESV) gives us the remedy!
“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
There needs to be a zero tolerance approach to lust. We read 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 in the last post that gives a very clear command!
“Flee from sexual immorality!” And if we fail to, we need to repent and ask God to forgive us. That is eventually what David did after God sent his prophet Nathan to confront him. David confessed his guilt and had to face some pretty tough consequences. 2 Samuel 12:13-18a says:
“Then David confessed to Nathan, ‘I have sinned against the Lord.’
Nathan replied, ‘Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.’
After Nathan returned to his home, the Lord sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah’s wife. David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused.
Then on the seventh day the child died.”
Ouch! David went from being referred to as a “Man after God’s own heart,” to becoming an adulterer, liar, conspirator and murderer. And in the end he lost the child that was conceived as a consequence of his sin.
“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me — now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.”
Yes David was “a man after God’s own heart,” but a man still the same who was susceptible to the same temptations we all face. The trouble is he that he let his guard down and failed to overcome the lust within himself! In our introductory post ★ Thought for the Day – Avoiding a Whole “LOT” of Trouble ★, we read the warning of 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 but today I want to look at the hope that the Apostle Paul gives in verses 11-13 (ESV)
“And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything. ‘Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food’ — and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”
Verse 12 is so powerful…“I will not be dominated by anything.” When we give into temptation we are no longer in control of our lives, making us vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks and a slave!
I will close with this council from my friend had when I asked him what he would share with someone who is trying to heal from the affair. This is based on a male perspective but it certainly applies for a woman who may have committed adultery as well:
- Boundaries, accountability, transparency, and honesty with God, your wife, and another man of God are fundamental to overcoming temptations regarding infidelity.
- Healthy boundaries with the opposite sex are your first line of defense against this type of temptation, e.g. no personal friendships, no personal conversations, no private interactions.
- Accountability partners that are not afraid to search your heart and ask the hard questions helps cover the areas that go beyond boundaries, e.g. thoughts and feelings.
- Full transparency into every aspect of your life with God, your wife, and another man of God provides the best line of defense by shedding light on everything you do and removes the ability to hide anything.
- Complete honesty, good, bad, or ugly, is necessary for any of this to work, whether trying to prevent infidelity from happening or healing afterwards.
Romans 12:1 (NLT) which says:
“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.”
Don’t allow lust to enslave you, instead let your life and body be holy and pleasing to God!
If you’re interested in digging deeper, check out:
Resources for those struggling with Sexual Integrity
- Covenant Eyes – Internet Accountability and Filtering Service
- Every Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge – Book
- Every Men’s Battle by Steve Arterburn & Fred Stoeker – Book
- Is It Ok To Watch 50 Shades Darker? – Movie Review from Mark Driscoll
- For Marriages, Check out this video called “Lifelong Passion and Intimacy” from Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen Evans:
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